Monday, April 9, 2012

Heartwarming Heartbreak

John is back at Goshen Hospital, and it's good to be back home. RiverCrest sent him back for a massive GI bleed which turned out to be an oozing hemorrhoid - God bless hemorrhoids! RiverCrest is excellent but John is complicated. And non-linear. He's in ICU in the same room he's been in before - I told them that if they ever moved him to another room, I'd come in and kiss the wrong man. There's been talk about engraving his name in the fire extinguisher case right outside his door. 

Nothing is going well  for him now. His last sputum culture showed MRSA and Pseudomonas, and he also has a UTI - his immune system is not working well. For the medical out there, it seems that we're looking at sepsis and ARDS. For the normal folks, the infection is massive and his lungs aren't working well. He's needing more Levophed to keep his blood pressure up, and more oxygen to keep his sats up. He is weaker and less alert that he was a few days ago. Everything is being done that can be done and, without a miracle, he has very little time left. 

We had a special - and emotional - day today. He was very much awake and alert this morning, so I said all the things to him and I needed to say. After enduring that he took a well-deserved nap. This afternoon I brought the dog in to visit with him. He and Jethro hadn't seen each other since John left for work on January 15th. After some preliminary petting, sniffing, and nuzzling, Jethro suddenly sprang up in the air, landed in bed with John, and lay down beside him. John lifted his arms up - no small feat right now - and put them around the dog. They both fell asleep that way, and slept for almost an hour. Before they fell asleep Jethro had the biggest smile I've seen on him since January, and John had one tear running down his right cheek. I sat there with one hand on John's hand and the other on Jethro's shoulder, and enjoyed seeing my two menfolk reunited. John slept more soundly than I've seen him sleep for a long time, and his oxygen saturation was the highest it was all day. They visited with each other for over three hours. I left John still sleeping, and brought home a very relaxed - and rather pensive - dog. For him, the mystery is solved - he knows where his Daddy is, and I'm sure he knows Daddy doesn't have much time left. I'll take him back every couple of days for as long as I can.

On the human front, Jen is flying in on Wednesday evening and I can't wait. It will be good to have the whole family here. I'm thankful for my little family, and for the 34 years I've had with the world's only perfect man. I have no complaints. After all, I've never lived in a refugee camp and it's been years since we've had snipers or IEDs in Topeka. Jen has me pegged. She says that I'm not a glass-half-full person; I'm a the-glass-is-half-full-and-I'm-not-really-thirsty person. I do believe she's on to something. 

9 comments:

  1. You are amazing. I love you so much and can't wait to see you tomorrow night. *hugs*

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  2. What a wonderful gift for John and Jethro. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.

    In Christ,

    Steven

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  3. Thank you for the update. I love the image of Jethro springing into bed with John and of the two of them sleeping.

    I'm not sure what to say, so I'll say the usual: we love you both and our prayers -- and tears -- continue.

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  4. Ah, Joan. Audora said it all. There is so much beauty in this post among the sad. My prayers and love continue as well.

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  5. Joan, my heart breaks for you as I read your updates. I had no idea the situation was this severe. I will continue to keep you and John and your family in prayer!! Sending hugs!!

    Rhoda

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  6. Joan, My thoughts, love and prayers go out for both you and John. What a wonderful gift for both John and Jethro.

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  7. Joan, My thoughts and prayers are with you and John. What a wonderful gift and comfort for both John and Jethro.

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  8. Thank you, Joan, for this post. It couldn't have been easy to write. It's certainly not easy to go through. I like that you've started taking Jethro to see John. I know how special that must be for both of them. Much love, Cindy

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  9. Lloyd and I are holding you both in heart and love. --Joan

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